FAQs — Frequently Asked Squeaks

No. AcornBank is an invented squirrel bank built as a web demo. Every product, rate, branch, person, app and figure is made up, and no banking service of any kind is provided. Read why this bank is fictional.

No. There is no application, form, identity check or account behind any page. The rate cards and tables exist so the demo reads like a bank; they are not offers.

They are realistic-looking demo figures chosen for worked examples, not live market rates. They do not change with the market and are not available from anyone. The rates page shows them side by side.

There is no money to protect. AcornBank holds nothing, so no deposit-protection scheme, regulator or compensation arrangement applies or is claimed.

No. The worked examples show arithmetic under stated assumptions; they are not advice, forecasts or recommendations. For real decisions, use a real bank or a regulated adviser.

Because the demo exists to exercise a bank-shaped website: ranges, hubs, product pages, worked tables, branches, an app promotion and this FAQ. Copying the furniture makes the demo useful; copying the money would make it a bank.

The content is demo material for browsing and crawler testing. The figures are invented, so reusing them as if they were real rates would mislead someone. Quote them only as what they are: fictional.

Characters. They appear in customer stories, branch pages and worked examples so the arithmetic has someone to happen to. None is a real employee, adviser or contact.

You cannot, because there is nobody to contact: no telephone number, email address or contact form exists. For a real banking question, use your real bank’s own channels.

Nothing beyond the words typed into the search box, which are used to find pages and not stored by the site. Hosting may keep access logs; the privacy page explains the caveats.

Nowhere. The Log in link leads to a page explaining that there is no online banking and no account to sign into. Never type a real username, password or card detail anywhere on this site.

No. The app is promoted throughout the story and exists only in the story. There is nothing to download, and any app calling itself AcornBank was not made by this fictional bank.

In the story it shows balances for every pot, moves pretend acorns between pots, displays the demo rate cards and finds branches. In reality it does none of these, because it does not exist.

A description of what a bank’s online service would show: balances, statements, rate cards and worked tables. The site shows those tables to everyone without a login because there is nothing to protect.

Only in the story, where Hazel answers a hollow log. There is no number to call and no automated line.

A very stern painted owl checks the print and lets everyone in, because there is nobody to keep out. It is a joke about biometrics, not a feature.

No. AcornBank is text on a website; it cannot telephone, email or message anyone. A message claiming to be from AcornBank is not from AcornBank.

Contact that bank through the number on its own card or website, not through the message. Nobody legitimate asks for a full password, a PIN or a one-time code, and no bank needs you to move money to a “safe account”.

Do not. The only input on the site is a search box. Keep real names, account numbers, passwords and card details out of the hollow.

Only in the model: a monthly fee on the business account, an annual fee on one credit card, a transfer fee on the balance-transfer card, an arrangement fee on the mortgage and an annual charge on the investment products. Nothing is ever actually payable.

The two fixed savings accounts deduct 90 days’ interest in the model, never more than the interest earned. The bonds cannot be closed early at all. Each product’s fees page has the table.

So a perk is never mistaken for a return. Cashback, 0% offers and growth scenarios are shown beside the APR, fee or annual charge that goes with them.

No. The 400 branches across twenty regions have invented addresses, opening hours, services and maps. None can be visited, and none can open an account.

Use the region picker on the home page or the branches hub. Every branch page carries a drawn map with a pin that leads precisely nowhere.

Each branch lists its own mix: rate-card explanations, mortgage illustration appointments, business banking for woodland stalls, step-free stump desks and lost-acorn enquiries. No cash, documents or advice change hands.

Weekday hours vary by branch, some open late on Wednesdays, Saturday is either a morning or closed, and Sunday is always the Great Nap. The hours are scenery, not a service.

In the story, Acorn Everyday. It pays no interest and charges no fee; its job is tracking movements. Branch Out Business is the ledger for a woodland stall and charges £6 a month.

No. Both current accounts pay 0.00% credit interest in the model. Money meant to earn something belongs in the savings range.

Overdreyft Buffer charges 29.9% EAR (variable) on borrowing above a £50 interest-free buffer. A £500 shortfall for 30 days costs a few pounds; a lingering one costs much more. The product page shows 7, 30 and 90 days.

No. Payment scenarios are stories. There is no payee list, sort code or card that moves real money.

In their own range, so each card’s reward or offer can be shown next to its borrowing cost.

The everyday ledger for salaries, bills and snack-related deductions. It pays no credit interest: its story is about tracking movements, not growing a savings balance. Its story purpose is keeping everyday income and spending organised. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

0.00% credit interest in the model. It is a ledger for movements, not a place for money to grow.

Nothing: no monthly fee in the model. Borrowing on the linked overdraft is charged separately.

No. Payment scenarios are stories; no real transfer, card or merchant service exists.

A separate ledger for invoices, stock and the question of whether eaten inventory counts as a sale. The model charges £6 a month and pays no interest, so the cost of a quiet trading year stays visible. Its story purpose is separating a woodland stall’s takings from personal spending. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

0.00% credit interest in the model. It is a ledger for movements, not a place for money to grow.

£6 a month in the model, £72 over a quiet year. Borrowing on the linked overdraft is charged separately.

No. Payment scenarios are stories; no real transfer, card or merchant service exists.

A buffer, not a savings pot. The model applies interest only to the amount above £50 and shows what a shortfall costs over several durations. There is no real credit facility to draw on. Its story purpose is illustrating the cost of a short-lived current-account shortfall. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

29.9% EAR (variable), with the first £50.00 interest-free. The EAR is converted to a daily equivalent and applied to borrowing above the £50 buffer.

Illustrative credit limit: £0.00 to £1,000.00. It is a cushion, not a savings pot.

In the model, yes: interest applies only to the amount above the buffer. Nothing is really free because nothing is really borrowed.

A fixed rate holds for the product’s term; a variable rate can change, and the projections only hold it constant for arithmetic. The savings range has one of each in every pair: accounts, cash ISAs and bonds.

New money into any ISA is capped at a demo £20,000 per fictional tax year, shared across every ISA a story customer holds. Interest and growth inside the wrapper are untaxed in the model.

From the two fixed accounts, yes, with a 90-day interest deduction. From the two bonds, no: the term is fixed. The easy-access account and easy-access ISA allow withdrawals at any time.

Once a year at the anniversary in the annual-credit model, which is why AER and gross p.a. match. Fixed products pay at maturity.

The model deducts no tax anywhere. Non-ISA figures are gross; ISA figures are described as tax-free because the wrapper would shield them. Personal tax is outside the story.

A flexible savings pot for short-term plans. Label a goal, add to it whenever the imaginary pay packet arrives, and keep the money accessible when life changes its mind. Its story purpose is a first home for spare savings. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

3.75% AER / gross p.a. (variable), gross, before tax. It can change, because the rate is variable; projections hold it constant only for arithmetic.

Unlimited withdrawals in the demo; no notice period.

Opening / maximum balance: £1.00 to £100,000.00.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is patience: money locked away cannot be spent.

A savings account rather than a bond: one deposit, one year, one fixed rate, but the door is not bricked up. Closing early costs 90 days’ interest in the story, so the tables show what patience is worth. Its story purpose is a known spending date one year away, with an emergency exit. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

4.40% AER / gross p.a. (fixed), gross, before tax. It holds for the 12-month term and no rate is promised afterwards.

No top-ups; early closure allowed in the model with a 90-day interest deduction; otherwise principal and interest at maturity. Closing early costs 90 days’ interest in the model, never more than the interest earned.

Opening / maximum balance: £500.00 to £100,000.00.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is the 90-day interest deduction for early closure.

An easy-access pot inside a fictional cash ISA wrapper. The model applies no tax to interest, caps new money at a demo £20,000 a year and lets withdrawn money go back in during the same tax year. Its story purpose is tax-free easy-access savings inside a demo ISA wrapper. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

3.60% AER / tax-free (variable), tax-free inside the demo ISA wrapper. It can change, because the rate is variable; projections hold it constant only for arithmetic.

Unlimited withdrawals in the demo; flexible, so money withdrawn can be replaced within the same demo tax year.

Minimum / demo annual allowance: £1.00 to £20,000.00 per demo tax year. New money counts against the shared demo ISA allowance.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is patience: money locked away cannot be spent.

The fixed cousin of the easy-access cash ISA: one deposit within the demo allowance, a fixed rate for twelve months and no tax on the interest in the story. Its story purpose is a year of tax-free interest at a fixed rate. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

4.30% AER / tax-free (fixed), tax-free inside the demo ISA wrapper. It holds for the 12-month term and no rate is promised afterwards.

No withdrawals during the 12-month term in the model; closing or transferring early costs a 90-day interest deduction. Closing early costs 90 days’ interest in the model, never more than the interest earned.

Minimum / demo annual allowance: £500.00 to £20,000.00 per demo tax year. New money counts against the shared demo ISA allowance.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is the 90-day interest deduction for early closure.

One opening deposit, one year, one rate. The twig stays fixed even when the wind gets ideas. The rate applies only to the initial 12-month term, with no promised renewal rate. Its story purpose is a known spending date one year away. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

4.60% AER / gross p.a. (fixed), gross, before tax. It holds for the 12-month term and no rate is promised afterwards.

No top-ups or withdrawals during the 12-month term; principal and interest available at maturity.

Opening / maximum balance: £1,000.00 to £100,000.00.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is patience: money locked away cannot be spent.

A bond with a variable rate: the term is fixed at two years but the rate tracks a fictional Forest Base Rate plus 0.25%. The illustration holds today’s rate constant, which a real tracker would not. Its story purpose is locking money away for two years while the rate follows the market. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

4.75% AER / gross p.a. (variable, tracking the demo Forest Base Rate of 4.50% plus 0.25%), gross, before tax. It can change, because the rate is variable; projections hold it constant only for arithmetic.

No top-ups or withdrawals during the 24-month term; principal and interest available at maturity.

Opening / maximum balance: £1,000.00 to £250,000.00.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is patience: money locked away cannot be spent.

A 20% deposit: £50,000 on a £250,000 treehouse, giving a £200,000 advance at 80% loan to value.

The payment is recalculated at the assumed 6.49% reversion rate, so the monthly amount rises from £1,121.91 to £1,334.37 in the model. The reversion rate is held constant for illustration only.

A £999 arrangement fee paid upfront, included in the total cost figure. No valuation, legal or insurance costs are modelled.

Not in the repayment table. A separate illustration would charge 2% of capital repaid early in year one, 1% in year two and nothing after that.

The annualised cost of the whole schedule including the upfront fee, calculated from the monthly cash flows. It is a model figure, not a regulated quotation.

A made-up mortgage with a two-year introductory fixed rate. The repayment table includes the assumed rate change after month 24, so the attractive opening payment is not mistaken for a 25-year guarantee. Its story purpose is buying a fictional treehouse. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

4.59% fixed for 2 years; then 6.49% assumed variable rate. The reversion rate is held constant only for illustration.

Illustrative advance: £25,000.00 to £500,000.00, at up to 80% loan to value in the model.

The product page totals every payment plus the £999 arrangement fee and shows an illustrative APRC. Total interest on the £200,000 example is a little over £195,000.

The annual cost of the loan including any fees, quoted for a typical story customer. Every loan here has no fee, so the APR is simply the fixed interest rate.

Yes, in the model: the balance plus up to 58 days’ interest, the usual convention. Each loan page shows the figure after half the term and the interest saved.

A longer term lowers the monthly payment and raises the total repayable. The tables show both for every amount and term so the trade-off is visible.

No. All three loans are unsecured in the model; the treehouse is never at risk, even for the improvement loan.

A fixed-rate loan for plans that do not fit in a savings pot yet. The rate never moves, the payment never moves, and the tables show exactly how much of each payment is interest. Its story purpose is a planned purchase paid off in fixed monthly amounts. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

6.9% APR representative, fixed for the whole term, with no arrangement fee. The payment never changes.

Illustrative loan amount: £1,000.00 to £25,000.00 over 12 to 84 months.

£10,000 over 60 months is the representative example on the product page, with the monthly payment, total interest and total repayable. Other amounts and terms are tabled beside it.

Yes, with up to 58 days’ interest in the model. The examples page shows the settlement figure after half the term.

Larger sums over longer terms for work on the drey, at a slightly lower fixed rate. The illustration is unsecured: the treehouse itself is never at risk, which is more than can be said for the roof. Its story purpose is a new roof, a bigger balcony or a second hollow. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

5.9% APR representative, fixed for the whole term, with no arrangement fee. The payment never changes.

Illustrative loan amount: £7,500.00 to £40,000.00 over 24 to 120 months.

£10,000 over 84 months is the representative example on the product page, with the monthly payment, total interest and total repayable. Other amounts and terms are tabled beside it.

Yes, with up to 58 days’ interest in the model. The examples page shows the settlement figure after half the term.

A straightforward loan for a straightforward vehicle. Unlike finance from a wheelbarrow dealer, the money is lent to the customer, so the barrow is theirs from the first push. Its story purpose is a reliable wheelbarrow with the money paid straight to the story customer. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

7.9% APR representative, fixed for the whole term, with no arrangement fee. The payment never changes.

Illustrative loan amount: £3,000.00 to £30,000.00 over 12 to 60 months.

£10,000 over 48 months is the representative example on the product page, with the monthly payment, total interest and total repayable. Other amounts and terms are tabled beside it.

Yes, with up to 58 days’ interest in the model. The examples page shows the settlement figure after half the term.

Stashback or Bushy Tail Rewards for spending that is repaid in full, Zero Nut Zone to spread a purchase, Twig Transfer to park an existing balance, and Acorn Builder to show a short, tidy history. Every card’s page shows the borrowing cost beside the perk.

A missed or late payment, in the model. From then on the standard APR applies to the whole balance.

Yes: £10 a month on Stashback Card and £25 a month on Bushy Tail Rewards Card, which also charges a £24 annual fee. Cash withdrawals, transfers, fees and interest never earn cashback.

The illustrative annual cost of borrowing once interest applies. The card examples convert it to an equivalent monthly rate and repay £1,200 over twelve months to show the interest.

The pages state an illustrative range per card, from £250 on Acorn Builder to £10,000 on Twig Transfer. No real assessment happens; the limits are story furniture.

A tiny reward for a tidy ledger, not a reason to carry debt. Cashback and credit interest are shown separately. The demo assumes ordinary purchases only, with no cash withdrawals or balance transfers. Its story purpose is earning a small reward on eligible spending paid off in full. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

24.9% illustrative APR (variable) once interest applies. Repaying £1,200 over twelve months at that rate is shown month by month on the product page.

0.5% on eligible purchases, capped at £10 a month. It assumes the statement is cleared in full; carrying a balance costs more than the reward.

£500.00 to £5,000.00, as an illustration. No real assessment takes place.

No annual fee in the model. Interest is the real cost if the statement is not cleared.

The premium tail. Double the cashback of Stashback Card, an annual fee to pay for it and a higher APR that makes carrying a balance the quickest way to turn a reward into a cost. The tables show the fee and the cashback side by side. Its story purpose is a bigger reward on everyday spending that is always repaid in full. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

27.9% illustrative APR (variable) once interest applies. Repaying £1,200 over twelve months at that rate is shown month by month on the product page.

1.0% on eligible purchases, capped at £25 a month, for a £24 annual fee. It assumes the statement is cleared in full; carrying a balance costs more than the reward.

£1,000.00 to £8,000.00, as an illustration. No real assessment takes place.

A £24 annual fee, shown beside the cashback so the net reward is clear. Interest is the real cost if the statement is not cleared.

Nothing to pay in interest for eighteen months, provided the balance is gone before the zone ends. The tables show the monthly amount that clears a purchase in time and what happens to any nut left behind. Its story purpose is spreading a planned purchase over 18 interest-free months. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

24.9% illustrative APR (variable) once interest applies. Repaying £1,200 over twelve months at that rate is shown month by month on the product page.

18 months from opening, provided every payment is on time. Any balance left when the offer ends moves to 24.9% APR.

£500.00 to £6,000.00, as an illustration. No real assessment takes place.

No annual fee in the model. Interest is the real cost if the statement is not cleared.

Carry the twig, not the interest. The model moves £3,000 from a 24.9% card, charges the 3% fee up front and compares two years of zero interest with two years of leaving the balance where it was. Its story purpose is moving an expensive balance somewhere it stops growing. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

26.9% illustrative APR (variable) once interest applies. Repaying £1,200 over twelve months at that rate is shown month by month on the product page.

A 3% fee on the amount moved, then 0% for 24 months. Moving £3,000 from a 24.9% card costs £90 up front and saves the interest the old card would have charged.

£1,000.00 to £10,000.00, as an illustration. No real assessment takes place.

No annual fee in the model. Interest is the real cost if the statement is not cleared.

For squirrels whose ledger is short rather than bad. A modest limit, a steep APR and no annual fee: used lightly and cleared monthly it costs nothing, used as a loan it is the dearest nut in the forest. Its story purpose is showing a small, tidy borrowing history in the story. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

34.9% illustrative APR (variable) once interest applies. Repaying £1,200 over twelve months at that rate is shown month by month on the product page.

£250.00 to £1,500.00, as an illustration. No real assessment takes place.

No annual fee in the model. Interest is the real cost if the statement is not cleared.

Yes. The three fictional investment products hold a made-up fund whose value moves every day, so the pages show low, mid and high growth scenarios after charges rather than a promise. The value can end below the amount paid in.

They hold the same fictional fund; the wrapper differs. The general account has no allowance and no relief. The stocks and shares ISA caps new money at a demo £20,000 a year and applies no tax to growth. The SIPP adds demo tax relief but locks the pot until age 57.

A total annual charge of 0.45% on the account and the ISA and 0.50% on the SIPP, modelled as a deduction from growth. Each product page shows what a 1.00% charge would cost instead.

Every £80 paid in becomes £100 with demo basic-rate relief. Higher-rate relief, employer contributions and allowance tapers are not modelled.

No. It is a cash savings pot with a variable rate that sits in the investments range because of its purpose. It has no growth scenarios and its value cannot fall.

A cash-savings storyline for longer afternoons and fewer committee meetings. Despite the name, this is not a pension, investment portfolio or retirement-income promise. There is no tax relief or annuity in the model. Its story purpose is a cash reserve for a slower pace of life. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

3.90% AER / gross p.a. (variable), gross, before tax. It can change, because the rate is variable; projections hold it constant only for arithmetic.

Unlimited withdrawals; annual interest remains in the pot unless removed.

Opening / maximum balance: £500.00 to £100,000.00.

No account fee in the model. The only cost is patience: money locked away cannot be spent.

A fictional general investment account holding one made-up woodland fund. Money can go in as a lump sum or a monthly amount and come out at any time, but the value moves with the fund rather than with a rate card. Its story purpose is long-term growth outside a tax wrapper. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

Yes. It holds a fictional fund that moves every day, so the pages show low, mid and high growth scenarios after charges. The value can end below what was paid in.

0.45% total annual charge; growth not guaranteed, illustrated at 2%, 5%, 8%. The charge is modelled as a deduction from growth.

Opening / maximum balance: £100.00 to £1,000,000.00.

Sell holdings at any time; story proceeds arrive within four working days; the value can fall as well as rise.

The investment account inside a fictional ISA wrapper. Contributions are capped by a demo annual allowance of £20,000, and the model applies no tax to growth or withdrawals. Its story purpose is long-term growth inside a demo tax-free wrapper. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

Yes. It holds a fictional fund that moves every day, so the pages show low, mid and high growth scenarios after charges. The value can end below what was paid in.

0.45% total annual charge; growth not guaranteed, illustrated at 2%, 5%, 8%. The charge is modelled as a deduction from growth.

Minimum / demo annual allowance: £100.00 to £20,000.00 per demo tax year. The allowance is shared with any cash ISA in the story.

Withdraw at any time; money taken out cannot be replaced in the same demo tax year; the value can fall as well as rise.

A made-up personal pension. Every £80 paid in is topped up to £100 by demo basic-rate tax relief, the pot is locked until age 57, and the projection runs from age 40 to a story retirement at 67. Its story purpose is building a retirement pot with demo tax relief. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

Yes. It holds a fictional fund that moves every day, so the pages show low, mid and high growth scenarios after charges. The value can end below what was paid in.

0.50% total annual charge; 20% demo tax relief on contributions; growth not guaranteed. The charge is modelled as a deduction from growth.

Minimum / demo annual allowance: £25.00 to £60,000.00 per demo tax year.

No withdrawals before age 57 in the model; from then, up to 25% as a tax-free lump sum and the rest as taxable income.

Every £80 paid in becomes £100 with demo basic-rate relief. Higher-rate relief and employer contributions are not modelled.

The first part of any claim the customer pays. A £1,200 loss with a £100 excess pays £1,100. Life cover has no excess.

They are demo figures for a story customer aged 35 with no claims. Real premiums depend on real details; these depend on nothing at all.

In the model, yes: a 14-day cooling-off period applies and after that a pro-rata refund. Life cover simply stops when premiums stop.

No. No policy, insurer, claim or payout exists. Every page is a worked example of how insurance figures fit together.

Cover for the building, the contents or both. The premium depends on the cover level, the excess is fixed, and the worked claim shows exactly what the story customer would receive. Its story purpose is putting the drey back together after a bad day. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

Storm, flood and falling-branch damage to the drey; Theft of contents by magpies or otherwise; Accidental damage to the leaf ledger. The exclusions are listed beside them on every page.

From £9.50 a month, rising with the cover level. The full table is on the rates-and-returns page.

£100.00 per claim, deducted from what the model pays.

In the story, report a leaf roof leaks over the nut store to the branch with its cost; the model pays it less the excess, up to the cover limit. No real claim can be made.

One policy for a year of journeys. Cover levels differ by destination, the excess is small, and the worked claim shows a lost suitcase turning into a payout. Its story purpose is leaving the forest without leaving the story’s safety net. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

Emergency medical treatment abroad up to the cover limit; Lost, stolen or delayed luggage; Cancellation for reasons the story accepts. The exclusions are listed beside them on every page.

From £5.95 a month, rising with the cover level. The full table is on the rates-and-returns page.

£75.00 per claim, deducted from what the model pays.

In the story, report a suitcase of nuts goes missing at the airport to the branch with its cost; the model pays it less the excess, up to the cover limit. No real claim can be made.

A fixed sum for a fixed term at a fixed premium. The example assumes a 35-year-old story customer; the tables show the premium by sum assured and what twenty years of premiums add up to. Its story purpose is leaving the story family with a fixed sum rather than a fixed problem. Everything on this site is fictional; nothing can be applied for.

A fixed lump sum if the policyholder dies during the 20-year term; Terminal illness in the final years of the story; Premiums that never change during the term. The exclusions are listed beside them on every page.

From £8.20 a month, rising with the cover level. The full table is on the rates-and-returns page.

None: life cover pays the full sum assured.

In the story, report the policyholder dies during the term to the branch with its cost; the model pays it less the excess, up to the cover limit. No real claim can be made.