A little nutty. Entirely fictional. No real banking here ↗

Mortgages · Products · FROM THE ACORNBANK FOREST

Treehouse Mortgage — Compare the Canopy

A made-up mortgage with a two-year introductory fixed rate. The repayment table includes the assumed rate change after month 24, so the attractive opening payment is not mistaken for a 25-year guarantee.

A treehouse in a leafy oak.
A fictional bank, a real sense of humour. All people, places, products and figures are invented. No real banking or financial advice. About this demo.

Demo rate card4.59% fixed for 2 years; then 6.49% assumed variable rate

The pound values and percentages on this page are invented AcornBank product terms, chosen for a realistic bank-style example. They are not current market offers, an invitation to deposit or invest money or a forecast of what a real bank will pay.

Product detailDemo terms
Account typeRepayment mortgage
Rate, reward or charge4.59% fixed for 2 years; then 6.49% assumed variable rate
Illustrative advance£25,000.00 to £500,000.00
AccessMonthly capital-and-interest repayments over 25 years in the illustration
Eligibility in the scenarioAn adult story applicant with a deposit of at least 20% and assumed affordability
Fees£999.00 arrangement fee, paid upfront
CurrencyGBP (£), used solely for fictional calculations

Every product across the ranges

ProductRangeRate, reward or chargeAccess or term
Current accounts0.00% credit interest; £0.00 monthly account feeDaily payment and transfer scenarios; no real payment service
Current accounts0.00% credit interest; £6.00 monthly account feeRoutine business payment scenarios; no real transfers or merchant services
Current accounts29.9% EAR (variable), with the first £50.00 interest-freeUp to £1,000 arranged borrowing; the first £50 is interest-free in this demo model
Savings3.75% AER / gross p.a. (variable)Unlimited withdrawals in the demo; no notice period
Savings4.40% AER / gross p.a. (fixed)No top-ups; early closure allowed in the model with a 90-day interest deduction; otherwise principal and interest at maturity
Savings3.60% AER / tax-free (variable)Unlimited withdrawals in the demo; flexible, so money withdrawn can be replaced within the same demo tax year
Savings4.30% AER / tax-free (fixed)No withdrawals during the 12-month term in the model; closing or transferring early costs a 90-day interest deduction
Savings4.60% AER / gross p.a. (fixed)No top-ups or withdrawals during the 12-month term; principal and interest available at maturity
Savings4.75% AER / gross p.a. (variable, tracking the demo Forest Base Rate of 4.50% plus 0.25%)No top-ups or withdrawals during the 24-month term; principal and interest available at maturity
Mortgages4.59% fixed for 2 years; then 6.49% assumed variable rateMonthly capital-and-interest repayments over 25 years in the illustration
Loans6.9% APR representative (fixed); £1,000.00 to £25,000.00 over 1 to 7 yearsFixed monthly repayments over 1 to 7 years; early settlement allowed with up to 58 days’ interest in the model
Loans5.9% APR representative (fixed); £7,500.00 to £40,000.00 over 2 to 10 yearsFixed monthly repayments over 2 to 10 years; early settlement allowed with up to 58 days’ interest in the model
Loans7.9% APR representative (fixed); £3,000.00 to £30,000.00 over 1 to 5 yearsFixed monthly repayments over 1 to 5 years; the customer owns the wheelbarrow from day one; early settlement with up to 58 days’ interest
Credit cards0.50% cashback; 24.9% illustrative APR (variable)0.5% cashback on eligible purchases, capped at £10 per month; borrowing can cost more than the reward
Credit cards1.00% cashback; 27.9% illustrative APR (variable); £24.00 annual fee1% cashback on eligible purchases, capped at £25 per month, for a £24 annual fee; borrowing costs more than the reward
Credit cards0% on purchases for 18 months, then 24.9% illustrative APR (variable)0% on purchases for 18 months from opening, then 24.9% APR (variable); missing a payment ends the offer in the model
Credit cards0% on balance transfers for 24 months with a 3% fee, then 26.9% illustrative APR (variable)0% on balance transfers for 24 months with a 3% transfer fee, then 26.9% APR (variable); new purchases are not interest-free
Credit cards34.9% illustrative APR (variable); credit limits from £250.00Small limits, a high APR and no fee; the story rewards paying the statement in full every month
Investments3.90% AER / gross p.a. (variable)Unlimited withdrawals; annual interest remains in the pot unless removed
Investments0.45% total annual charge; growth not guaranteed, illustrated at 2%, 5%, 8%Sell holdings at any time; story proceeds arrive within four working days; the value can fall as well as rise
Investments0.45% total annual charge; growth not guaranteed, illustrated at 2%, 5%, 8%Withdraw at any time; money taken out cannot be replaced in the same demo tax year; the value can fall as well as rise
Investments0.50% total annual charge; 20% demo tax relief on contributions; growth not guaranteedNo withdrawals before age 57 in the model; from then, up to 25% as a tax-free lump sum and the rest as taxable income
InsuranceFrom £9.50 a month; £100.00 excess; cover up to £330,000.00Claims in the story are reported to the branch and paid less the excess; a 14-day cooling-off period applies in the model
InsuranceFrom £5.95 a month; £75.00 excess; cover up to £5,000,000.00Any number of trips of up to 31 days during the policy year; claims paid less the excess
InsuranceFrom £8.20 a month; £0.00 excess; cover up to £300,000.00No cash value; the sum is paid on a valid claim during the term and premiums stop when the term ends

Treehouse Mortgage is repayment mortgage in the Mortgages range, used for buying a fictional treehouse. Its live rate card, summary and worked tables sit above this text and update whenever the product record changes.

Compare products with the same job

Treehouse Mortgage is designed around buying a fictional treehouse. Compare access needs, term, fees and limits alongside the rate. A fixed bond, a cash ISA and a credit card can each display a percentage while measuring three different things. The full range below deliberately keeps those labels visible.

The worked examples show the product-specific calculations and timing assumptions in full.

Other mortgage terms in the story

There are no overpayments in the repayment table. The separate early-repayment illustration would charge 2% of capital repaid early during months 1–12, 1% during months 13–24 and zero after that; those charges are excluded from the scheduled-payment total. The £999 fee is paid upfront rather than added to the advance. This is not a loan offer, affordability decision or property valuation.

See the whole Mortgages range or compare every product on the rates page.

What the example does not promise

All figures are invented and shown to make the demo useful to read and crawl. No money is held, no application is available, and no deposit-protection, regulatory or tax-wrapper status is claimed. Calculations do not account for personal tax, inflation or unstated changes in rates. The fictional bank manager can guarantee only that the next paragraph contains no real acorns.

Related reading


AcornBank: entirely fictional banking, exceptionally committed squirrels.