Address
Hollow 4Fern Parade BranchWalnut WoodsImaginary ForestIF9 5NHLook for a fern that waves in no wind. Branch manager: Professor Nibbles.
Opening hours
| Monday | 09:00–16:00 |
|---|---|
| Tuesday | 09:00–16:00 |
| Wednesday | 10:00–18:00 |
| Thursday | 09:00–16:00 |
| Friday | 09:00–16:00 |
| Saturday | 09:00–12:30 |
| Sunday | Closed |
Services at this branch
- Savings and rate-card explanations
- Current account and card questions
- Mortgage illustration appointments
- Children’s first-account stories
- Retirement pot conversations
- Quiet moss nook for longer conversations
- Seasonal stash planning sessions
Find us on the map
Invented address, hours, services and map for a fictional branch. There is no real location or appointment service.
The fictional Fern Parade branch serves the imaginary squirrels of Walnut Woods. Branch manager Professor Nibbles specialises in friendly explanations and finding the pencil that is usually behind one ear.
About this branch
Look for a fern that waves in no wind; the entrance is the next entirely made-up tree. The address, opening hours, services and map shown with this page are invented scenery: there is no real location, map pin or postal destination, and nobody can open an account, withdraw money or book an appointment here.
The team handles savings and rate-card explanations, current account and card questions, mortgage illustration appointments and the other services listed for this branch. Every conversation uses a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”; no documents are collected and no real advice is given.
Branch gossip
The Fern Parade team recently counted 24 pretend acorns and one button. The button was promoted to deputy manager because it stayed put during the recount. This branch exists only as demo content.
Product discussion of the week
The Fern Parade Branch team is explaining Overdreyft Buffer: 29.9% EAR (variable), with the first £50.00 interest-free. The discussion starts with illustrating the cost of a short-lived current-account shortfall, then checks the access rule and the worked calculation. The staff do not collect documents or offer real advice. Their props are a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”.
Help around the fictional branch
The story includes a lower desk, a seat for a companion, written summaries and time to repeat an explanation. No cash machine, real cash handling, safe-deposit service or on-site adviser exists. Use the linked product pages, online banking or the AcornBank app to continue the tale without travelling to an invented address.
Related reading
- This Is a Fictional Bank — No Real Banking Here
- Site Map — Every Branch of AcornBank
- Walnut Woods — Find a Fictional Branch
- Banking in Branch — Bring a Pencil
- Walnut Woods: Twitchy Square Branch — Your Local Nut Counter
- Walnut Woods: Drey Lane Branch — Your Local Nut Counter
AcornBank: entirely fictional banking, exceptionally committed squirrels.