Address
Hollow 12Woodpecker Walk BranchConker CoastImaginary ForestIF1 7NELook for a remarkably square stump. Branch manager: Wally Walnut.
Opening hours
| Monday | 09:00–17:00 |
|---|---|
| Tuesday | 09:00–17:00 |
| Wednesday | 10:00–18:00 |
| Thursday | 09:00–17:00 |
| Friday | 09:00–17:00 |
| Saturday | Closed |
| Sunday | Closed |
Services at this branch
- Savings and rate-card explanations
- Current account and card questions
- Mortgage illustration appointments
- Overdraft cost check-ups
- Step-free stump desk and tail-friendly seating
Find us on the map
Invented address, hours, services and map for a fictional branch. There is no real location or appointment service.
The fictional Woodpecker Walk branch serves the imaginary squirrels of Conker Coast. Branch manager Wally Walnut specialises in friendly explanations and finding the pencil that is usually behind one ear.
About this branch
Look for a remarkably square stump; the entrance is the next entirely made-up tree. The address, opening hours, services and map shown with this page are invented scenery: there is no real location, map pin or postal destination, and nobody can open an account, withdraw money or book an appointment here.
The team handles savings and rate-card explanations, current account and card questions, mortgage illustration appointments and the other services listed for this branch. Every conversation uses a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”; no documents are collected and no real advice is given.
Branch gossip
The Woodpecker Walk team recently counted 89 pretend acorns and one button. The button was promoted to deputy manager because it stayed put during the recount. This branch exists only as demo content.
Product discussion of the week
The Woodpecker Walk Branch team is explaining Bushy Tail Travel Insurance: From £5.95 a month; £75.00 excess; cover up to £5,000,000.00. The discussion starts with leaving the forest without leaving the story’s safety net, then checks the access rule and the worked calculation. The staff do not collect documents or offer real advice. Their props are a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”.
Help around the fictional branch
The story includes a lower desk, a seat for a companion, written summaries and time to repeat an explanation. No cash machine, real cash handling, safe-deposit service or on-site adviser exists. Use the linked product pages, online banking or the AcornBank app to continue the tale without travelling to an invented address.
Related reading
- This Is a Fictional Bank — No Real Banking Here
- Site Map — Every Branch of AcornBank
- Conker Coast — Find a Fictional Branch
- Banking in Branch — Bring a Pencil
- Conker Coast: Sleepy Log Branch — Your Local Nut Counter
- Conker Coast: Mushroom Mews Branch — Your Local Nut Counter
AcornBank: entirely fictional banking, exceptionally committed squirrels.