A little nutty. Entirely fictional. No real banking here ↗
AcornBank.

Branches · FROM THE ACORNBANK FOREST

Conker Coast: Fern Parade Branch — Your Local Nut Counter

Entirely fictional. Thoroughly nutty. Welcome to another branch of our story.

An oak tree with a wooden signpost.
A fictional bank, a real sense of humour. All people, places, products and figures are invented. No real banking or financial advice. About this demo.

Address

Hollow 59Fern Parade BranchConker CoastImaginary ForestIF2 5AB

Look for a signpost pointing firmly at itself. Branch manager: Mabel Mosswhisker.

Opening hours

Monday09:30–16:30
Tuesday09:30–16:30
Wednesday09:30–16:30
Thursday09:30–16:30
Friday09:30–16:30
SaturdayClosed
SundayClosed

Services at this branch

  • Savings and rate-card explanations
  • Current account and card questions
  • Mortgage illustration appointments
  • Business banking for woodland stalls
  • Retirement pot conversations
  • Lost-acorn enquiries

Find us on the map

Fern Parade BranchImaginary Forest · not a real map

Invented address, hours, services and map for a fictional branch. There is no real location or appointment service.

The fictional Fern Parade branch serves the imaginary squirrels of Conker Coast. Branch manager Mabel Mosswhisker specialises in friendly explanations and finding the pencil that is usually behind one ear.

About this branch

Look for a signpost pointing firmly at itself; the entrance is the next entirely made-up tree. The address, opening hours, services and map shown with this page are invented scenery: there is no real location, map pin or postal destination, and nobody can open an account, withdraw money or book an appointment here.

The team handles savings and rate-card explanations, current account and card questions, mortgage illustration appointments and the other services listed for this branch. Every conversation uses a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”; no documents are collected and no real advice is given.

Branch gossip

The Fern Parade team recently counted 45 pretend acorns and one button. The button was promoted to deputy manager because it stayed put during the recount. This branch exists only as demo content.

Product discussion of the week

The Fern Parade Branch team is explaining Evergreen Stocks & Shares ISA: 0.45% total annual charge; growth not guaranteed, illustrated at 2%, 5%, 8%. The discussion starts with long-term growth inside a demo tax-free wrapper, then checks the access rule and the worked calculation. The staff do not collect documents or offer real advice. Their props are a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”.

Help around the fictional branch

The story includes a lower desk, a seat for a companion, written summaries and time to repeat an explanation. No cash machine, real cash handling, safe-deposit service or on-site adviser exists. Use the linked product pages, online banking or the AcornBank app to continue the tale without travelling to an invented address.

Related reading

AcornBank: entirely fictional banking, exceptionally committed squirrels.