A little nutty. Entirely fictional. No real banking here ↗
AcornBank.

Branches · FROM THE ACORNBANK FOREST

Ashen Vale: Woodpecker Walk Branch — Your Local Nut Counter

Entirely fictional. Thoroughly nutty. Welcome to another branch of our story.

An oak tree with a wooden signpost.
A fictional bank, a real sense of humour. All people, places, products and figures are invented. No real banking or financial advice. About this demo.

Address

Hollow 24Woodpecker Walk BranchAshen ValeImaginary ForestIF9 2NC

Look for a signpost pointing firmly at itself. Branch manager: Wally Walnut.

Opening hours

Monday09:00–16:00
Tuesday09:00–16:00
Wednesday09:00–16:00
Thursday09:00–16:00
Friday09:00–16:00
Saturday09:00–12:30
SundayClosed

Services at this branch

  • Savings and rate-card explanations
  • Current account and card questions
  • Mortgage illustration appointments
  • Business banking for woodland stalls
  • Overdraft cost check-ups
  • Step-free stump desk and tail-friendly seating
  • Quiet moss nook for longer conversations

Find us on the map

Woodpecker Walk BranchImaginary Forest · not a real map

Invented address, hours, services and map for a fictional branch. There is no real location or appointment service.

The fictional Woodpecker Walk branch serves the imaginary squirrels of Ashen Vale. Branch manager Wally Walnut specialises in friendly explanations and finding the pencil that is usually behind one ear.

About this branch

Look for a signpost pointing firmly at itself; the entrance is the next entirely made-up tree. The address, opening hours, services and map shown with this page are invented scenery: there is no real location, map pin or postal destination, and nobody can open an account, withdraw money or book an appointment here.

The team handles savings and rate-card explanations, current account and card questions, mortgage illustration appointments and the other services listed for this branch. Every conversation uses a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”; no documents are collected and no real advice is given.

Branch gossip

The Woodpecker Walk team recently counted 49 pretend acorns and one button. The button was promoted to deputy manager because it stayed put during the recount. This branch exists only as demo content.

Product discussion of the week

The Woodpecker Walk Branch team is explaining Zero Nut Zone Card: 0% on purchases for 18 months, then 24.9% illustrative APR (variable). The discussion starts with spreading a planned purchase over 18 interest-free months, then checks the access rule and the worked calculation. The staff do not collect documents or offer real advice. Their props are a rate card, a pencil and a jar clearly marked “not lunch”.

Help around the fictional branch

The story includes a lower desk, a seat for a companion, written summaries and time to repeat an explanation. No cash machine, real cash handling, safe-deposit service or on-site adviser exists. Use the linked product pages, online banking or the AcornBank app to continue the tale without travelling to an invented address.

Related reading

AcornBank: entirely fictional banking, exceptionally committed squirrels.